Secrets by Wan Nur Diana

Secrets by Wan Nur Diana

     I lay under the safety of the tree trunks above me. I could feel the cold, damp grass beneath my skin. It was cold but I did not care. It was just about to rain when I drifted into a deep sleep. I dreamt of my mother.  Her beautiful smile. Her reassuring eyes. I missed her so much. She was at home now. I wondered what she was doing. She was probably crying her heart out on the empty bed of hers. I wish I could hug her, calm her down but I was 2000 miles away and I could not do anything.

     It all started last May. I was in my bedroom, getting prepared for school as usual.  I could hear my parents yelling outside in the living room. I wished they would stop but hey, I was used to it now. I walked out of my room and ran towards the front door not caring about the problems that existed within the walls of this building you call a home. Sounds depressing, does not it? It was not actually. I had quite a perfect life. I was an all As students, the captain of the cheer team, the most popular girl in school and I had the guy.

      Back to the story, it was a normal Wednesday. I had a debate session in the morning, Chemistry and Biology classes and cheer practice in the evening. I went back home that day. I was in the bus when I got a call from the police. It turned out that my house burnt down while I was at school and guess who was inside? My dad! I did not cry of course. He was a bastard. He deserved to die. He cheated on my mom. That was why they had been bickering these past few weeks. Luckily my mom was not at home. She was at Aunt Lucy's house during the incident.

     The police got involved this time. They were investigating on how the house caught on fire. By that time, rumours were already spread around in school. I lost everything in a blink of an eye. I was not popular any more. My boyfriend dumped me because he could not handle the pressure of being the boyfriend of a girl who lost her father in a fire. The teacher thought I was too emotionally unstable so she gave the position of cheer captain to Jane Eyre the former vice president of the cheer team. I stopped going to school because of this. I stayed at home with my mom instead. It's a good thing she had a spare house in Downtown Abbey. At least we  were not homeless.

      One night, I decided to run away. I had nothing to lose anyway. My mom would be safe because Aunt Lucy would be taking care of her. I packed my bags and took my mom's credit card. I had to cash out all the money before she could find me. It took a lot of patience to get where I am today.

     I woke up from my sleep. I had been dreaming. How long had it been since I had been lying here in Coraway Park? My head hurt from remembering the incident that happened 10 years ago. Oh, well. It was in the past. I had to get back to the real world. I am a successful businesswoman working in the City of New York. I am married to my beloved husband, Matthew and I am blessed with two lovely children. My mother is still alive but I have not seen her for a long time. I have sent someone to take care of her back in Berlin.

      I got back home. It was late. I lay down beside my already asleep husband and I gave him a gentle kiss. As I closed my eyes, I remembered. The call that changed my life ten years ago. To be honest, I have a secret that no one knows of except myself. My father's death was not an accident. Yes, it was me. I did it. How was it possible? I was at school the whole day that day. You want to know how I did it? Simple. It was Wednesday. My dad's day off. My mom's usual day when she visits my Aunt Lucy. My dad's opportunity to cheat on my mom with his co-worker. It still does not answer the question of how I killed him right? I can tell you that I am a genius. I mean I did not even get caught. I made sure my mom had left and that my dad was still asleep before I turned on the gas. He was a smoker so it made my job even easier. All he needed to do was light up his cigarette and the house would be in flame in a blink of an eye.

     The police could not even find out what caused the fire. They claimed that my dad must have smoked in the living room and did not put out the light properly before retrieving into his bedroom. The police could be so dumb at times. They even caught the wrong culprit. Of course, it was according to my plan. I framed my boyfriend. He was not at school that day. He was an easy target. Now he is serving his whole life in jail. It serves him right for cheating on me with Jane Eyre.

     So there you go. My deepest and darkest secret at all. Of course I had to pay the price of doing so. I suffered these past ten years. I would think of it every day and every night, the moment I wake up and before I fall asleep. I wish I could turn back time and just kill him with my own bare hands. One thing for sure is that he was not the victim. I am. He made me like this. Now I shall sleep with no regrets because regret can take away your happiness. What is past is past. I live my life now as it is. I am Amy Adams and I was a misguided ghost. I live life to its fullest with no regrets because that is how it should be.