It all happened when I was 16. Kids my age would be creating unforgettable and noteworthy memories, so that when they grow older and reminisce the past, a smile would be carved on their faces. But not for me, it was totally the opposite for that chapter of my life.
I was raised at an orphanage. By that time, I could already accept my fate as the other kids around me share the same story line. They were like my family. In fact, the only family I had. Nevertheless, I was loved dearly. The orphan keepers raised us well. At school, we were known as the orphans with good grades and great attitudes. We were asked to do good deeds everyday. Our timetable were packed. At night, we studied together, helped each other. We even went outings during the weekends and we got to pick out the things we wanted as long as they did not cost a fortune. As for me, I would always ask for a book. A loner like me spent time with reading, I guess. Still, I was happy.
25th May 2010. It was the date that I would always remember. My family was having lunch as we got back from tuition. Out of the blue, we heard a knock. Miss Ava, one of the orphan keepers there headed towards the front door to great the unexpected guest. Miss Ava came back inside and we stared at her with unanswered thoughts as someone trailed behind her. A woman in her thirties came with a basket full of pastries, smiling at us. She came nearer and we were told that she was here to join us for lunch. Janet, was what we called her. Such a pretty name, as pretty as the person itself. Janet was flawless to me. Her long brunette hair suited perfectly with her fair complexion, her cheeks rose as shes smiled with dimples on both sides. As a bonus, she had an amazing voice. They said she was married but her husband left her with other unknown reasons. After lunch, Janet taught us some games and even shared ghost stories. I even asked her to stay for dinner, she did not hesitate.
That night, before I closed my eyes to a sweet dream, I thought about how happy I was that day. Maybe it had been ages since we last received a guest. Janet got along so well with us. It must be nice to have her as a mother. But, no. That one mother I had was enough to turn my world upside down. A mother should never throw away her own child, no matter what the situation was. Miss Ava told me on my birthday last year that I was here not because of my parents who died in a car crash or whatsoever. Instead, I was thrown away. I was unwanted. On one rainy night 15 years ago, I was found crying heartily in front of the orphanage. I was left there in a basket wrapped with a blanket, with a note saying, "I named her Miley, so she would always smile. Please take a good care of her." The moment Miss Ava cuddled me with care and brought me inside, I knew I had lost a mother.
Since that day Janet first came, she came by every weekend now and then. I was always looking forward for her arrival. But one day, she did not show up. Instead, she passed a letter to Miss Ava and surprisingly, the envelope read 'Miley'. A letter for me. I opened, really slowly, and Janet wrote:
'To my dearest Miley,
I'm sorry I couldn't make it for today. I know I even promised to bring you that book you wanted. I'll give it to you some other time, I promise. I have an appointment with my doctor today and I couldn't skip it. Sorry again.
But, there's something you need to know, a long time. It was my fault that I couldn't tell, but it's about time now. I know it's hard to believe, but I am actually your biological mother. I'm sure you must now hate me. Trust me, it was never in my slightest thought to have given you away but my dear Miley, I had you at a very young age and I didn't know what to do. I just wanted the best for you.
At first I planned not to meet you forever because it's hard for you to believe and accept me. Boy, who I am kidding, forever is such a long time. But I'm glad I got to meet you and make you smile, at least before I die.
I knelt and cried. I cried so hard and I couldn't stop. It was the worst type of crying because I was stuck between joy and anger. Happy because I found my mother, mad because of what she did. Janet tricked me, she was so manipulative. She treated me so nicely, as if she had done nothing wrong.
I had not seen Janet for two months now, I spent each day hating her. A mother should not do that, a mother should never do that. She should never have come to the orphanage in the first place. I hated her, so much.
But one day, I got a call saying Janet was admitted to the hospital and that her condition was getting worse. A tumour was found in her left brain two years ago and recently she had gotten grand mal seizures. After hearing that news, I felt like I was being shot right to the heart. My mother, my only mother had the littlest time left. I couldn't say a word then. I barely felt my body. Seeing my condition, Miss Ava took the phone from me and we went to the hospital as quick as possible.
I arrived with mixed up feelings. Feelings I had never felt before. I went straight to the receptionists and they said Janet, my mother, was recovering and that I could go and see her at her room. So, I went. I opened the door as I trembled but the first word that came out was "Mom". I then saw the brightest smile on a mother's face, I teared.
Three months had passed. Though I spent most of the days at the hospital because mother had to go for chemotherapy, I was more than happy. I was ecstatic. As long as mother was there with. I appreciated each day. We went for shopping, movies and visiting our relatives.
Mother's condition was getting worse, she had to be taken care intensively. I didn't mind because I could still see her. But that one day as I was sleeping by her side with her hands wrapped tightly in mine, I woke up suddenly as I felt something different. Mother was cold, she looked pale yet so calm. I moved my head towards he chest and did not hear her heartbeat. I knew that, that moment, I had lost my mother, again.
If only I didn't waste two months of hating mother, I would have more time to spend with her. That is why people say that when your soul has been filled with hatred, your mind has been conquered with anger, the your every action might be beyond expectations. If only I had a time machine, I would turn back the time and rectify my mistakes. Unfortunately, everything had changed.
So that was about it! The wonderful event that I have experienced. My definition of wonderful? It is something extraordinary, not just something that makes you happy and jump out of excitement. It has to be more that that. For me, it is considered as wonderful when it gives a huge impact to your life, an event that could change the person you were before into someone that people could look up to.
After my mother's death, I lived with my aunt. I couldn't accept it at first, but I trust my mother as she used to say everything happens for a reason. I am thirty now, married to the love of my life and carrying a child in my tum. I vow to give my baby all the love he or she would need. I want to be a better mother, not that my mother was bad, it was just that our fate was written that way. I'd be lying if I say I didn't miss my mother, in fact I do, I really do. If I had just one more chance, I'd tell my mother that I really love her. If there's one thing in life that I have learnt, it would be to cherish what we have now because once it's gone, it's gone for good.